Many of us lack self-love, even I was hating myself for my imperfections, flaws and inabilities. This is an issue that many of the youth encounter in some points of their life. I noticed that many of the youth today have this self-hatred due to many reasons. It could be because of how they look at their body, how people say negative things about them, or how they feel inferior for comparing what they have to what others have.
Some people compare their lives or selves to others as a way for them to be motivated or inspired to do well and thrive hard for improvements. But, they don’t know comparison can give them self-doubt and can make them confused of what they should be and what they really want to be. Comparison makes people want to be like others, making them unable to discover their talents, capabilities, worth and the field of profession where they will be most effective. With the growth of social media, there is also a growth of materials to compare one’s self to another. While the social media tries to compare people by introducing their models of success, richness and beauty, it has created the downsides of comparison such as belittling one’s worth, while uplifting the other.
Comparison leads to envy, jealousy, dissatisfaction, low self-confidence and depression. It makes one’s self feel inferior for no valid or accurate reason. While downward comparison or comparing one’s self to less fortunate is encouraged by others to feel grateful, extreme of it may also be destructive because it belittles other people. And, if you belittle other people you are uplifting your own self which in return will increase your ego. If comparing yourself to others will make you feel worthless or devalue others then you’ve entered a dangerous trap.
Another reason why you should not compare yourself to others is because what you see is not accurate. People only show people good things, and sometimes they fake it just to show people that they are doing great. Everyone hides their negative emotions and flaws as much as possible, right? Sometimes you feel unlucky because you see other people in the peak of success, but you aren’t sure if they are really happy with their life. Also, people tend to overestimate the positive things they see in other people which make them underestimate their selves too much and neglect their good sides. Steve Furtick says, “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
Spending time thinking about how someone is better looking, more successful, richer and have more friends is useless. It can make you lose your motivation and destroy your track of accomplishing your goals in life. The reason why you start comparing yourself to others is because you see the things you think you want to see in your life. Instead of trying to imitate their path, find your own way and lead yourself to it. And, along the way you will realize more about what you certainly want to see in your life. Instead of spending time reflecting about someone’s life, spend time and dedicate your time in reflecting about your life. You should only compare yourself to who you were and always seek for improvements. Personally, I only compare myself to what I was. Seeing myself wiser, and stronger now than before makes me feel grateful and because of this, I am motivated to do better. But, if I compare myself to other people, rather than becoming grateful I may hate myself. And, instead of improving myself, I may lose my motivation to do better.
If you are in the game of comparing yourself to others, then I’m sorry to say this but you will always lose. If you see life as a competition with others, then there is no victory for you because you will never be better than others if you always compare yourself. Life is a series of journeys of becoming the better version of your self. You can learn and be inspired by others’ talents and road to success, but you should not imitate their path. What are theirs may not work well to you, and what is yours may not suit others. So, if next time you catch yourself being in this kind of trap, remind yourself that this won’t be an effective way to be motivated. Always remind yourself that you are doing great, and you are capable to do greater.
Do not compare yourself to others. Your life is unique. You are unique. Be an inspiration by appreciating your uniqueness.
— Najmah Bint Nasr (@bynajmah) October 27, 2014