Identity Crisis: Living The Life Of Someone Else

Some do not admit it while some are yet to discover that they suffer from identity crisis. The youth, while undergoing huge transition, are being manipulated by the negative stimuli around them. Due to the influence of the society including their family, they become helpless to find out who they really are. They struggle to find their identity because, even though they think they are doing well, they find themselves lost in the haze of insignificance. They feel something is lacking in themselves that they think is necessary for them to completely grow up and make an impact in this world.

As a result of uncertainty they involve themselves to various activities that are persuaded by people they consider epitomes of success, just to find out they will never be good at those. Their behaviors are not surprising. What to expect from youth when they are being brainwashed with the thought that they should follow the path of those people who claim to be models of success? Due to that, they exert effort to discover their identity by following the path of those considered fits and successful in order to gain similar success.

People change into beings molded by these influences as they become abused by the status quo. These people who are results of confusion usually commit flimsy acts. They buy books without the intention of reading it, wear suits without feeling comfortable wearing it, go to places they really don’t want to visit, study something they don’t have interest with, all meaningless things they do because they are told to do it not because they want it. Due to their uncertainty of who they are they lose their purpose and try to find themselves in the personalities of those around them that might be results of uncertainty. So confusing life this dunya has to offer, however everyone has to struggle to live rightly for the sake of Allah (SWT).

People think we step on the same staircase that when they step one step higher they could reach what others have reached. The only way to identify who they truly are is to stop all the pretension. They should stop being those they are not. It is better for them to be alone yet true to themselves and confident for whom they are, than to be in the company of others by faking everything that they have.

The next thing they should do after eradicating the pretensions is to know themselves. Knowing who they are will start from knowing what their purpose of existence is, that always will go back to the words of the Almighty. “Verily I did not create jinns and the mankind, except to worship me.” (51:56) If they make this their purpose of existence they will never have to find themselves in others because they will be guided by the Almighty.

They ought to accept that in this society each of us portrays different roles. The common misconception is that when they submit themselves to Allah (SWT), they only have to take a career which is to be a scholar of Islam and teach Islam, but some are meant to be the scholars, some are not. Everyone has the duty to learn and teach Islam in the way they can and in any position in the society they have.

They will discover their roles in the society while they live rightfully at the moment. It is not something they plan by themselves, but something they discover as they get along. Submission is the key. Surely, while they live a life submitting to Him they will discover a lot of things about themselves, including their roles in the society. They can be whoever in the society as long as it does not displease Allah (SWT).

While performing their duties as daughter, son, wife, friend, sister, brother, youth etc, they will discover their other roles in the society. They will be able to determine little by little the things they have to know. They have to apply the teachings they learn, and make it a practice throughout their discovery. What they ought to be will just come out naturally in their way.

Finding themselves gone in a wrong direction might make them lose their focus and might make them stress themselves. They must put in mind that things happen because it’s meant to happen, that Allah (SWT) teaches us lessons not only through good times but also through tough times. Youth should always put Allah (SWT) in remembrance and ask him through prayers because these are always the best thing to do to be rightly guided. They should not strive to be like someone else rather they should have hope in Allah (SWT). Hope will remind them that everything will be okay and that whatever looks terrible at the moment is only temporary. Anyone could begin today by knowing who they are not and who they really are.

I will be posting more blog posts regarding this topic to help my fellow youth to discover their true identity. I know how hard it is to live the life of someone else because I did it several times.

Najmah is a Clinical Nutritionist, Med student and Writer. She is the founder of The Muslim Bricks. You can also find her blogging on her blog, By Najmah, where she writes about wellness, personal excellence, and her journey to white coat.

6 Replies to “Identity Crisis: Living The Life Of Someone Else”

  1. Shahista ♡

    Mashallah, this is beautifully written. It takes some many years to fully understand who they are; some in 20s, 30s, 40s+ and only Allah (swt) has control over these things. I always say to myself, ‘Knowledge without wisdom is Dangerous’ and it takes certain hardships, certain tests to fall in your life to truly understand and experience at first hand how to attain this wisdom. Subhanallah.

    • Najmah Bint Nasr

      So true. I also meet people who are in their late 30s who found themselves regretful of the life they chase but they believe time lost can not be back so they become depress, but these kinds of events in life must not be taken as punishment or failure. Surely, these are part of our journey. SubhanAllah.

  2. Safeera Sarjoo

    This is something I’ve noticed too. There are times where you see people struggling and leading two different lives. One that conforms within their cultural community and one where they’re trying to experience life and find out who they are. The most important thing is to lead a life that makes you happy and brings out the best in you, even if it goes against cultural norms. I’m sure my parents wanted me to pursue very stereotypical career routes, but writing and journalism is what makes me happy and in the end, they would encourage that than influence me to do something that isn’t what I love.


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