the muslim bricks

Not Woman Enough

I’m writing this to let you know that you are not alone. There’s a lot of us who feel that they aren’t good enough – that they aren’t a woman enough.  We were told that to be a woman we should be beautiful, fit, brainy, wise, intelligent, achiever, independent, the best wife, the best cook, the maid, the best mom and a lot more. People expect us to have it and to pack everything in a size zero body.

They don’t appreciate the things we did, the dishes we prepared, the unique talents we have, the body we’re blessed to have, the amazing ideas we have in our minds. What they see are the things we possessed, that are defined by the society as imperfections.

Because of these… the insecurities we have continuously grow within us. Our insecurities made us sorry for not being a woman enough just because we don’t look like how the media portrays what a woman should look like. I’ve heard a lot of women who said that they aren’t deserving of love because they were told that they weren’t a woman enough. People said that they couldn’t cook right for their husband, they couldn’t raise their kids right, they couldn’t look decent enough. The list goes on and on.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who went out with a friend who didn’t order any food and sat and watched you eat the whole time because they don’t want to get fat. I’m sure I’m not the only one who saw a mother crying, a daughter bullied, a sister who was compared to her “prettier” sisters.

Listen, not because we’re told that women should look in a certain way, to have perfect posture, to have beauty and brain does it mean that anything other than those are considered failure or ‘not woman enough.’ You should not measure beauty the way society does and you should not feel worthless when you don’t qualify how the society defined womanhood. And, don’t ever try to change yourself to just fit in those qualifications. If you need to change something do it by taking care of the body that is entrusted to you by Allah and not hating and changing it totally through cosmetology or surgery just because you want to please people. Allow yourself to be the woman that you are. Know that your worth isn’t something that is based on what other people tell. Our self-worth has been with us since the day we’re born. Our self-worth is our uniqueness, our God-given talents, beauty, body, our purpose.

Whatever size you have, whatever body type you have, curvy or not, fair or dark, short or tall, you are beautiful. You were not put here to please people, to be an ornament to be stared upon. You were put here for a purpose and to work on that purpose. You are given uniqueness and the capability to do big things. Be happy of who you are and thank Allah for every detail of your being – Your smile, your heart, your talents, your passion, your ideas. All those details can make big change that are  much bigger than the number on the scale. Allow yourself to be loved and to love and part of it is loving yourself. Take care of your body by keeping yourself healthy and happy.

You are a creation of Allah so embrace who Allah created you. So, say Alhamdulillah! Yes, you have “flaws” and “imperfections” as what society defined your differences as, but those are part of how beautiful and unique you are made by our Creator.

Najmah is a 23 year old Filipino Muslim, Clinical Nutritionist, Med student and Writer. Born and raised in Saudi Arabia. Living in the Philippines since 2010. She is the founder of The Muslim Bricks. You can also find her blogging on her personal blog.By Najmah is her personal blog that contains posts about her life lessons, Islamic reflections, personal excellence and journey to becoming a doctor.

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