The Heartbreak Of Ibn Hazm

In Ibn Hazm book, the ring of the dove, he talked about philosophy of love. Wherein in its last parts he talked about the separation of lovers which is caused by death. He writes, “Finally there is the separation which is caused by death, that final parting from which there is no hope of a return. This is indeed a shattering and backbreaking blow, a fateful catastrophe; it is a lamentable woe, overshadowing the blackness of night itself; it cuts off every hope, erases all ambition, and causes the most sanguine to despair ‘of further meeting. Here all tongues are baffled; the cord of every remedy is severed; no other course remains open but patient fortitude, willing or perforce. It is the greatest affliction that can assail true -lovers; and he who is struck down by it has nothing left but to lament and weep, until either he perishes himself or wearies of his lamentations. It is the wound, which cannot heal, the anguish which never passes, the sorrow which is constantly renewed, as ever his poor body crumbles that thou hast committed to the dust.”

He also shared his own personal story which relates to this situation. He writes, “I have seen this happen to many people, and can relate to you a personal experience of the same order; for I am also one who has been afflicted by this calamity, and surprised by this misfortune. I was deeply in love with, and passionately enamoured of, a certain, slave-girl once in my possession, whose name was Nu`m: she was a dream of desire, a paragon of physical and moral beauty, and we were in perfect harmony. She had known no other man before me, and our love for each other was mutual and perfectly satisfying. Then the fates ravished her from me, and the nights and passing days carried her away; she became one with the dust and stones. At the time of her death I was not yet twenty, and she younger than I. For seven months thereafter I never once put off my garments; my tears ceased not to flow, though I am a man not given to weeping, nor discovering relief in lamentation. And by Allah, I have not found consolation for her loss even to this day. If ransoms could have been of avail, I would have ransomed her with everything of which I stand possessed, my inheritance and all my earnings, aye, and with the most precious limb of my body, swiftly and willingly. Since her death life has never seemed sweet to me; I have never forgotten her memory, nor been intimate with any other woman. My love for her blotted out all that went before, and made anathema to me all that came after it. Here are some of the poems which I composed about her”

She was a spotless maiden, bright
And lovely as the sun’s first light;
Like stars all other maidens were
And faintly shone, compared with her.
Her love sent soaring from my breast
My heart, that was till then at rest,
And, like some bird upon the wing,
It swooped, and then hung hovering.

I can feel the heartbreak Ibn Hazm felt while I was reading this story of him. We are vulnerable in feeling such pain, however Allah is our ultimate goal everything else is a test. Falling in love, heartbreaks are some. It is usual that during moments like this, when we feel really upset, we are prone in neglecting our prayers, spending most of our days crying or doing nothing because of great heart break we feel. But, during moments like this that instead of going away from Allah we must increase our faith to Him, the One who can heal everything, the All-knower of everything that happens. Allah knows best. When He removes something from us it is because it’s time for us to have something better and new. Trust Allah for every affair you have, He knows best.

Najmah is a Clinical Nutritionist, Med student and Writer. She is the founder of The Muslim Bricks. You can also find her blogging on her blog, By Najmah, where she writes about wellness, personal excellence, and her journey to white coat.

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