There may be instances when you think your sins are too big for Allah to forgive you. Then, you keep on sinning and putting yourself further away from Allah because you think that He will not accept you. Due to your guilt, you are holding yourself from becoming better. But, you should remind yourself that the Mercy of Allah is infinite. Allah will forgive your sins even if they reach up to the sky.
“Allah, the Exalted, has said: `O son of Adam! I shall go on forgiving you so long as you pray to Me and aspire for My forgiveness whatever may be your sins. O son of Adam! I do not care even if your sins should pile up to the sky and should you beg pardon of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam! If you come to Me with an earthful of sins and meet Me, not associating anything with Me in worship, I will certainly grant you as much pardon as will fill the earth.” [At-Tirmidhi]
There may be times when you stopped asking dua because you felt that they won’t be heard, you stopped reading Qur’an because you felt that Allah is angry at you, and you stopped praying because you think you will never be forgiven by Allah. But those are just whispers of shaitaan. If you are really sincere to repent and to ask forgiveness from Allah, He will not just forgive you but shower you with His countless blessings.
Every time you pray you have different situation, emotion or condition. Sometimes you feel down, lonely, or sad. But during prayer, you are being reminded of His mercy because you start the prayer with “In the name of Allah, the most Merciful and the most Beneficent.” It is to remind you not to feel bad because Allah is the Most Merciful. You can get through any trial if you have firm faith in Him. It is the reminder that begins every surah in the Qur’an except surah tawbah.
Remember that in Qur’an, there are many verses that tell how Merciful and forgiving Allah is.
“God is much-forgiving, forbearing.” [3:155]
“for God is indeed an absolver of sins, much-forgiving.” [4:99]
“for God is much-forgiving, forbearing.” [5:101]
“He pardons much” [42:34]
“God is indeed an absolver of sins, much-forgiving” [58:2
“And whoever does evil or wrongs himself but afterwards seeks Allah’s forgiveness, he will find Allah Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
“…He will not punish them while they seek (Allah’s) forgiveness.”
“do not lose hope of God’s life-giving mercy: verily, none but people who deny the truth can ever lose hope of God’s life-giving mercy.” [12:87]
There are a lot more verses that explain the infinity of the mercy of Allah. You should understand that if you just put away those thoughts and turn back to Allah with sincerity, you will never fail to get His forgiveness. To take that step towards Allah and become closer to Him, you must fulfill your duties towards Him by performing your daily prayers, supplicating, remembering Him, and performing all acts with an intention which is for the sake of Him.
Remember that Allah is not like human beings who get tired of forgiving and who sometimes can’t even forgive at all. Allah is incomparable to any of His creation. He does not get tired of forgiving. Even if you turn back to Him again and again again, He will forgive and accept you again and again. No matter how big your sins are, the mercy of Allah is always greater. But, this is not to encourage you to sin. Be reminded that Allah knows what is in your heart, so fool not Him.